Temptation Island: Where Bitches Bitch Around with Fellow Bitches


One of the campiest movies of all time.
Synopsis: Dina (Dina Bonnevie), Bambi (Bambi Arambulo), Azenith (Azenith Briones). and Suzanne (Jennifer Cortez) are vying for the title of the famed Miss Manila Sunshine. They are then invited to a yacht cruise as part of the contest’s semi-finals. By some freak accident, yacht catches fire and the four contestants, together with the screaming high society queen Joshua, Suzanne’s maid, and three hot studs are thrown into a deserted island. And the rest is history.

video

See these Clips.




Here are some of my favorite lines (mind-boggling, no-nonsense dialogues, hahaha!):
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Suzanne: Ah! Careful, careful now. ‘Wag mo masyadong idiin at masisira ang beauty ng complexion ko. Alam mo namang mahirap ma-achieve ang golden tan. Importanteng mapuntahan ko ang party ni Bambi mamaya. Hmph! Birthday na naman ng bruha, kailangang matalbugan ko siya. Kailangang ako at hindi siya ang pansinin ng mga boys mamaya. Like what happened last year…
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Suzanne: Sabihin mo kay Vicente na ihanda ang Mercedes na charcoal gray…Mas gusto ko yatang magpahatid, para I can leave anytime I want. Late entrance, early exit. ‘Yan ang dramatic!
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Bambi: Sus! Budget! Mommy naman panay budget! Mas importante pa yata ang budget kesa birthday ko! Diyos ko last year tatlong kombo tumugtog sa birthday ko, ngayon tape recorder na lang.
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Azenith: Maraming klaseng puta. May big time. May small time. Pwes, big time ako!
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Mrs. Belisario: …Alam niyo, Mrs. Syjuco, my daughter is still a virgin kaya ingat na ingat ako sa kanya. You will not believe this if I tell you all the things that I saw there to be English, you know…and all that!
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Bambi: Bitch!
Suzanne: Darling, ‘di ko sinasadya. Hindi kita napansin.
Bambi: It must have been failing eyesight.
Suzanne: Really now, 20/20 yata ang vision ko.
Bambi: Sorry ha. I thought that was your bust line.
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Azenith: Late comer? Sa gitna ng dagat? Eh, anong sinakyan mo…taxi?
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Azenith: Ako naman si Azenith. Well, I’m sure we’ll get along fine, tulad ng kasabihang birds of the same feathers flock together.
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Suzanne: As I was saying, this is a bright sunny day. A day in the light of the sun’s rays. This is how I begin my day. An hour of tender loving care in the eight o’clock sunshine! ‘Yan ang sikreto ng aking youthful complexion, parang nasa tabi lang tayo ng swimming pool.
Azenith: O baka naman na-sun stroke ka lang?
Suzanne: It’s Ms. Manila Sunshine not Ms. Manila Sun Stroke.
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Suzanne: But of course. Alam mo namang my lungs is always on fire. I’m not a foolish virgin.
Azenith: Che! You’re not a virgin. Period.
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Suzanne: Shut up! Walang humihingi ng opinyon mo. Mag-alis kayo ng panty kung gusto ninyo but my panty stays right where it is.
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Joshua: Hay, nakakapagod palang gumawa ng bahay kahit na bahay-bahayan lang. Well, Rome was not built in a day if you can build Rome.
Suzanne: Wala akong carpenter complex, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.
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Suzanne: Let’s face it! Kayo talagang mga bakla mahilig mangolekta. Mahilig mangolekta ng records, mga antiques at ikaw mahilig mangolekta ng mga lalake. Poor, proletariat, indigent men.
Joshua: It’s simple, darling. I’m just trying to make up for the things that I didn’t have.
Suzanne: You’re trying to make up for the things that you never had.
Joshua: Bitch.
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Suzanne: Maria, pakikuha mo nga ang make-up kit ko sa kabilang bundok, nakalimutan ko eh.
Maria: Opo, senyorita.
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Azenith: Ah, shit!
Umberto: Ano ba ibig sabihin ng shit?
Azenith: Bakit? Di mo alam ibig sabihin nun?
Umberto: Pero gusto ko marinig sa yo. English yun di ba?
Azenith: Oo.
Umberto: Ano nga ibig sabihin?
Azenith: Eh, di dumi.
Umberto: Dumi? Tae yon di ba?
Azenith: Expression lang yun.
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Suzanne: Gutom na gutom na ako!
Bambi: Lunukin mo laway mo.
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Azenith: Walang tubig, walang pagkain. Eh ‘di magsayaw na lang tayo.
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Azenith: At kung ganon pagsama-samahan natin ang ating lahat na ari-arian at magumpisa tayo sa panty mo! Girls!
(They attack Suzanne.)
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Suzanne: Kukuruku! Umaga na! Good morning! What did you have for breakfast? Eggs benedict? At si Umberto ba ang nag-serve?
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Suzanne: What are bitches for? But to bitch around with fellow bitches.
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Bambi: Well, as I say, good manners spoil good food so…(kumuha ng kapirasong karne ni Joshua)
Alfred: ‘Wag niyo na isipin ang kung anu-ano. And maybe it would help kung lahat tayo magdasal nang tahimik habang kumakain.
Suzanne: Umberto, yaman din lamang waiter ka, ba’t di mo kami pagsilbihan?
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Suzanne: Talaga! Palibhasa mga magulang mo taga-bundok! Kaya walang laman ‘yang utak mo kundi kamoteng kahoy!
Maria: ‘Wag niyo naman ho sila idamay dito.
Suzanne: Shit silang lahat! Pati ninuno mo…shit!
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Maria: Oo, kung tawagin mo kong tonta, idiota, ileterada at kung anu-ano pa pero ito ang tandaan mo–ang tao kahit walang pinag-aralan ay may damdamin din na ‘pag nasaktan ay humanda ka! Hayop ka! Kakalbuhin kita!
Suzanne: Oo na. Babayaran kita pagdating natin sa Maynila.
Maria: ‘Yan ang sabihin mo.
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Dina: Mukhang tatagal pa tayo sa islang ‘to, tatagal pa! Habang buhay pa so please alang-alang kay Joshua, alang-alang sa ‘ting lahat, let’s all be friends!

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