I love UP profs. May character talaga. Ang sakit sa ulo. Haha. Got the following UP professors’ quotable quotes here:
“The aim of policy making is to invoke action! Because action speaks louder than words! You do not just say I love you. You say: If you love me, enter me! ” – Dr. Alfonso Pacquing
You may wear anything you want to wear. People are not supposed to be judged by the clothes they wear. Thus, wearing the latest fashion or one that belongs to the fashion archive does not really make a difference. Just make sure that you have the right to wear it. Spare the class of the agony of having to look at your clothes, no matter how good or sexy you think you are in that outfit, if reality tells otherwise. – Sir Quilop, Polsci
Valentines day: Ano ba yan? Students ba kayo ng UP? Bakit ang bababa ng scores niyo? Siguro wala kayong date ngayong valentines kaya ganito kayo. Losers!!! When I was your age I had a date. Hindi ba naapektuhan ng UP FAIR euphoria ang grades niyo? Parang di kayo masaya. (sabay tapon ng quizzes sa sahig). I won’t record this. Go find a date. (sabay walk out.) – Sir Doliente, BA.
“I don’t give surprise long exams. all exams are announced. Halimbawa, Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!” – Ma’am Chei
“Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno… baket? Aanhin ko ba nun? Di naman ako yayaman dun.” – Atoy Navarro, Hist I
“Don’t take the BAR and yourselves too seriously. Baka mabalitaan nalang namin na nag-o-oral summation kayo sa Luneta. O lumulutang-lutang sa Pasig River. Enjoy yourselves, relax, and read at least 15 hours a day. Nakakabobo ang sobrang tulog. Mag-relax ka habang nagbabasa. Magrelax habang nagmi-memorize.”
“Baka naman kasi mababa ang IQ mo kaya di mo maintindihan.” – Jun Cruz Reyes, Malikhaing Pagsulat
”Alam ko ang psychology ng aso.” – Jun Cruz Reyes, Malikhaing Pagsulat
Student: Ma’am, pwede po bang next week na kami mag report?
Prof: Alam mo, God is good. And I am God. So yes, pwede next week.
“Hoy girls, wag kayong kukuha ng boyfriend dito sa UP. Pare-parehas tayong mahirap dito. Kumuha kayo ng mayaman. 80% of the child’s intelligence comes from the Mother naman eh. Kayo guys, wag kayo kukuha ng bobong babae. Kahit matalino kayo, magiging bobo
“Class, kaya mahal ang bayad sa mga professors sa ibang school kasi ang bobobo ng mga estudyante dun. Dyuskoh, I used to teach there, at lumuluha talaga ako ng dugo bago maintindihan ng mga students yung sinasabi ko. Ang mahal nga ng bayad, magkakasakit ka naman sa panga kakaulit ng lessons! Wag na lang! Dito na ko sa UP, at least nagkakaintindihan tayo. Di ba?”
“Putang ina. Mas magaling pa akong magsulat nung nasa kinder ako kesa sa inyo.” (Sabay balibag ng mga libro at walk-out) – Art Studies prof
2nd to the last meeting: “Okay class, next week, we start the lecture proper.” – Ma’am Vitriolo
“Hindi mahirap makakuha ng UNO sa class ko. Yung gumradweyt last year na Magna Cum Laude ng Biochem, uno siya sakin sa Chem 18” – Ma’am Ilao
“I’ll strangle you, strangle you really hard, smack right in your jugular (Pause ng mga 5 seconds). You do know where your jugular is?”
“Ano bang natapos mo? Italian 8? Punyetissima!” – Sir Tiamson, Italian 11
“Marx is more Christian than Christ and Christ is more Marxist than Marx.” – Sir Lanuza.
Student: Sir, sa exams po ba nagbibigay kayo ng partial points?
Prof: Hmm, if I see partial wisdom.
Prof: Did I remind the class last meeting that we’re going to have an exam today?
Class: (dead air)
Prof: Ok, it seems I forgot to remind the class that we’re going to have an exam today. I’m giving you five minutes then to buy a bluebook. We’re going to have an exam today.
“The one who wrote this story, yes, Nick Joaquin, I seduced him before… when this (points at her breasts) thing were more beautiful than it appears now. Well, hindi natuloy. Is Nick Joaquin gay?” – Humanities prof
“I’m attending a mass in time for the holy gospel, and leave the church as soon as i finish the holy communion. grand entrance and early exit are important, why, I’m a star!” – lady prof