Rekorder: Nakakabundat Pero Di Nakakabusog

Synopsis: REKORDER tells the story of a former 1980’s film cameraman who now currently works as a movie pirate operating in present day Manila. He routinely smuggles a digital camcorder into movie theaters in order to illegally record films. One night he records something else… And the footage goes viral.

Hindi ako solb sa “Rekorder” ni Mikhail Red. May pagka-preachy at predictable. Kalagitnaan pa lang, alam na ang kuwento ni Maven. Ni-reveal na sana ang dapat i-reveal. But no. Binatak nang binatak nang binatak at pinaabot pa hanggang dulo. Ang resulta: Zzzzzzz.

Isa pa, overused ang shots ng high-rise buildings. Kakaumay. Pahabol: Misleading ang synopsis. Bumenta sa akin ang “One night he records something else… And the footage goes viral.” Pero, jusme, hindi naman diyan umikot ang kuwento. Akala ko thriller, pero hindi.

Para akong lumamon sa isang all-you-can-eat buffet, nabundat pero hindi nabusog.

 

2.8/5 stars

Quick Change: Ang Collagen ang Bagong Diskurso ng Kabaklaan.

Speaking of collagen…

Panalo ang “Quick Change” ni Eduardo Roy, Jr. Ako lang yata ang natawa sa Dorina Pineda at Lavinia Arguelles reference at sa pag-utot ng beking tinurukan sa puwet at mga beking hirit ng batang si Hiro, Pinigilan kong tumawa nang malakas. Nakakahiya naman kasi sa prim and proper crowd. Hindi appreciative ang crowd. Palibhasa, walang muwang sa pop culture. Nakaka-miss tuloy ang Cinemalaya Goes UP na tinanggal daw sa programa dahil hindi naman kumikitang kabuhayan. Commercialized na ang Cinemalaya, ‘no.

Anyway, ang pelikula ay hindi tungkol sa nangungusap na mata, kissable lips, washboard abs, mabilog na puwet, at frontal nudity ni Uncle Uno. Pasensiya, di ko maiwasang mag-objectify. Tao lang.

Tungkol ito sa mga beking nagpapaturok ng collagen. Dahil ito sa pangangailangang manalo sa beauty contest, at mapanatili ang trabaho, mapasaya ang mga lalaking kinakasama. Ang iba, adik lang talaga sa tusok ng karayom at sa pakiramdam ng collagen.

Ang sabi nga ng kaibigang kasamang nanood, bagamat tinatalakay pa rin ang HIV/AIDS at diskriminasyon, ang collagen ang bagong diskurso ng kabaklaan.

Mahusay ang transformasyon ng karakter ni Dorina. Nagsimulang sunshine girl, naging cynical. Bagamat ‘di ko naintindihan kung bakit ipinagpatuloy pa rin niya ang iligal na gawain matapos ang ilang seemingly epiphany moment niya.

Watch it.

3.80/5 stars

The Diplomat Hotel: Mas Maganda pa ang “Shake Rattle & Roll”

Napakamot na lang ng ulo matapos panoorin ang “The Diplomat Hotel” ni Christopher Ad Castillo. Ang sabog lang talaga. Mukhang may promise sa simula, pero na-confuse ang pelikula sa bandang gitna at huli. Ang gulo-gulo lang. Parang nagsulsi ng pantalon na agad ding nasira nang isuot dahil bara-bara ang pagkakasulsi. Marupok at walang direksiyon.

Sino ba si Herman Tau? Ano ba talaga ang role ng gusgusing nanay? Sino-sino ang multo? Ano ang nag-uugnay kina Herman Tau, cameraman, at anak ni Herman Tau? Sinong timang ang naniniwalang award-winning reporter si Veronica? Bakit ang pintog ng pisngi ni Greta? Galit ba ang script writer sa kanya kaya pinahirapan ang dialogue niya? Bakit hindi ko namukhaan agad si Mon Confiado (Ang Cinemalaya ang panahon ng pagsulpot ng alamat na si Mon Confiado. Very rare sighting. Kalebel ng Bigfoot at Loch Ness Monster)?

At naman, Greta, ‘di talaga benta sa akin ang akting mo rito. Pero panalo ang cheekbones mo, ‘teh.

Should you watch “The Diplomat Hotel”? ‘Wag na. Aksaya lang sa pera at panahon. Mas maganda pa nga ang mga latest edition ng “Shake Rattle and Roll”.

2/5 stars

Para akong nasa isang opening sequence ng isang pang-Cannes at Berlin at Venice na indie film

Nakasandal sa mapanghing poste (na may nakasulat na ‘mga gagong gwardya, wag kayong umihi dito’) sa EDSA-Munoz malapit sa Walter Mart, dinadaan-daanan at binubunggo-bunggo ng mga pawisang katawan, binubugahan ng maitim na usok mula sa tambutso ng mga bust at jeep, habang nakikinig sa Orinoco Flow ni Enya sa iPod Shuffle.

 

Buffy Saves the Day

Matapos mag-alay lakad mula Nichols hanggang Magallanes, makipagbalyahan sa MRT station for nothing, at ma-manwich sa bus (help, manyak!), sinalubong ako ng isang napakagandang balita sa bahay: kumpletong season 1 ng Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Samahan pa ng mainit na balatong (monggo) na maraming maraming maraming dahon ng ampalaya. Yum! Bawi na.

RIP, Roger Ebert

I’m gonna miss my love-hate relationship with your honest reviews. Hay, goodbye.

Kaya Pala Parang Nalagasan ako ng 10 Kilo Matapos Panoorin ang Sinister

Sinister (2012)

Scare Yourself Thin: Horror Movies Help Burn Calories, Study Finds

Ben Child

Watching scary movies can help you burn the calorific equivalent of a small chocolate bar, according to a new study by researchers at the University of Westminster.

Those who watched a 90-minute horror film were likely to burn up to 113 calories – the same sort of figure as a half-hour walk. Some movies were more effective than others, however: of the 10 films studied, the top calorie-burners were the classic Stanley Kubrick chiller The Shining (184 calories), Jaws (161 calories) and The Exorcist (158 calories).

The study found that films with regular “jump-scare” moments were most likely to help burn calories because they increased the heart rate dramatically. “Each of the 10 films tested set pulses racing, sparking an increase in the heart rate of the case studies,” said Dr Richard Mackenzie, senior lecturer and specialist in cell metabolism and physiology at the university. “As the pulse quickens and blood pumps around the body faster, the body experiences a surge in adrenaline. It is this release of fast-acting adrenaline, produced during short bursts of intense stress (or in this case, brought on by fear), which is known to lower the appetite, increase the basal metabolic rate and ultimately burn a higher level of calories.”

Scientists measured heart rate, oxygen intake and carbon dioxide output for the study, which was commissioned by the movie rental firm Lovefilm. They discovered that the number of calories used increased, on average, by a third during the screenings.

“We all know the feeling of wanting to hide behind the sofa or grab a pillow when watching scary or hair-raising scenes,” said Lovefilm editor Helen Cowley. “But this research suggests that maybe those seeking to burn some calories should keep their eyes on the screen.”

Movies I Saw in 2012

Enteng ng Ina Mo / Passion of Christ / Mona Lisa Smile / Pretty Persuasion / Scott Pilgrim vs the World / Bridesmaids / A Serbian Film / Boy / Breaking the Waves / Midnight in Paris / Easy A / Cinderella / Machete / Colombiana / Crazy Stupid Love / The Help / Anonymous / Paperhouse / No Regret / Session 9 / Un Prophete  / Hugo / The Sorcerer’s Apprentice / Presque Rien / Strapped / Mysterious Skin / La Nana (The Maid) / Thor / La Casa Muda / Manhattan / 3 Idiots / Coma / Humpday / The Wickerman / Funny Games / El secreto de sus ojos / A Question of Love / The Innkeepers / Hunger Games / YellowBrickRoad / The Dead / Martha Marcy May Marlene / We Are What We Are / Stake Land / The Woman  / Audition / Tucker and Dale vs Evil / The Darkest Hour / 11-11-11 / High Tension / Troll Hunters / Zombies of Mass Destruction / The Devil’s Backbone / Thirst / Cannibal Holocaust / Pontypoool / Visitor Q / House of the Devil / Sint / Martyrs / Anger Management / Trouble Every Day / The Host / Whatever Happened to Baby Jane / Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark / The Avengers / Underworld: Awakening / The Awakening / Buppah Rahtree / Erin Brokovich / The Cabin in the Woods / ATM / New Year’s Eve / The Devil Inside / 28 Days Later / 28 Weeks Later / Dream House / Piranha 3D / Mad Detective / 3 Idiots / Dawn of the Dead / Grave Encounters / Mirror Mirror / Vanishing on 7th Street / Attack the Block / Apollo 18 / Snow White and the Huntsman / Innocence / TimeCrimes / Night Watch / Hedwig and the Angry Inch / Suspiria / Kimmy Dora and the Temple of Kyeme / I Spit on your Grave (1978) / I Spit on Your Grave (2010) / The Amazing Spider-Man / Frost/Nixon / Quiz Show / The Divide / Intruders / Intoy Syokoy ng Calle Marino / Diablo / Aparisyon / REquieme / Good Night, and Good Luck / Shattered Glass / Wag the Dog / Tuhog / Control Room / Anchorman / Gomorrah / Juan of the Dead / Seconds Apart / Two Eyes Staring / Dark Souls / The Sylvian Experiments / White: The Melody of the Curse / Eaters: Rise of the Dead / Ghastly / The Shrine / Atrocious / Las Ojes de Julia / The Hair of the Beast / Humains / Le Village des Ombres / The Tunnel / Kamera Obskura / Deliver Us from Evil / Weekend / My Perestroika / Submarine / Enter the Void / The September Issue / The Snowtown Murders / Kaboom / Elephant / Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door / The Last House on the Left (2009) / Kill List / Take Shelter / Total Recall (1990) / We Need to Talk about Kevin / Dark Shadows / Twixt / Lovely Molly / The Housemaid / Moth Diaries / Apartment 143 / Bedevilled / The Chaser / Helpless / Memories of Murder / Time / Samaritan Girl / Cinderella (South Korea) / Van Wilder: Party Liaison / Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj / Van Wilder: Freshman Year / Poetry / The Grey / Carnage / The Dictator / Prometheus / To Rome with Love / Eseng ng Tondo / Sheitan / The Abandoned / Left Bank / Sweet Movie / The Nameless / They Came Back / Red Riding Hood / Love Actually…Sucks / REC 3: Genesis / Alpeis / Pieta / Frostbiten / Deranged / Bad Guy / The Loved Ones / Himala / In My Skin / The Imposter / Who Can Kill a Child / The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey / Decay / Brave / The Taste of Money / Silent Hills / Tiktik / Pridyider / The Hills Have Eyes 1 / The Hills Have Eyes 2 / Deranged / Possession / Jeepers Creepers 1 / Jeepers Creepers 2 / Evilution / Dead Silence / Black Sheep / Sinister

Movies I Saw Last Year (June to December)

The King is Alive / Festen / Love in a Puff / Calvaire / La Tête de Maman / Sans toit ni loi / Elle’s appelle Sabine / Joueuse / Cape No. 7 / Eat, Drink, Man, Woman / Harry Potter 7 (Part 2) / Caligari / Dogtooth / Hello, Stranger / Insiang / Date Night / Exorcist 2: The Heretic / Season of the Witch / The Rocky Horror Picture Show / La Planète Sauvage / Kakabakaba Ka Ba? / Foster Child / Halimaw sa Banga / Ang Babae sa Septic Tank / Hating Kapatid / Eat Pray Love / Hereafter / Shelter / Paprika / Memories of Matsuko / Wild Strawberries / Through a Glass Darkly / Hanna /The Last Circus / Conan the Barbarian / Lola / Jennifer’s Body / Itanong Mo Sa Buwan / The Milk of Sorrow / Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives / The Exorcist / Karigurashi / Sunshine / Juana la Loca / Intacto / Les Choristes / The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie / The Core / Battle Royale / The Ugly Truth / El Orfano / I Saw the Devil / Confessions  / Mother / Oldboy / Sympathy for Lady Vengeance / Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance / The Pirates of Silicon Valley / The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo / Water / Limitless / Outfoxed / Pollock / No Other Woman / Waltz with Bashir / Duda / Ben and Sam / Bathhouse / Taxidermia / The Headless Woman / Praybeyt Benjamin / Final Destination 5 / Panormal Activity 3 / Viridiana / A Festa Da Menina Horta / Zodiac / Se7en / The Game / Scream 4 / The Experiment / Der Siebente Kontinent / Source Code / Knowing / Wrecked / The Roommate / The Descent / Martyrs / The Crazies / Apocalypse of the Dead / Ils / Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon / Inside / I Don’t Know How She Does It / Frailty / Melancholia / Immortals / Italian for Beginners / The Game / Confessions / Dogtooth / Identity / Contagion / I Am # 4 / Super 8 / The Ward / The Thing / Bunshinsaba / The Victim / The Tourist / Colombiana / Ang Panday / Zombie Diaries

Confrontation Scene Deconstructed

Read Jessica Zafra’s article on ‘Salawahan’ here.

 

The anti-confrontation scene in Ishmael Bernal’s Salawahan (1979):

 

Marian: Good morning.

Sylvia: Same to you.

Marian: Aren’t you going to wish me well?

Sylvia: I’m going to wish you what you’re going to wish me.

Marian: Foreign twang. Girlfriend ako ni Gerry.

Sylvia: Same to me.

Marian: Ano’ng gagawin natin ngayon?

Sylvia: Wala.

Marian: Hindi ba tayo magko-confrontation?

Sylvia: Huwag na, nakakatamad eh.

Marian: Okay, I’ll see you.

Sylvia: See you.